


walking all day (with my mouth on fire)

by stilitana



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Amputation, Awkward Flirting, Brain Surgery, Cybernetics, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Guilt, Mental Health Issues, Moral Dilemmas, Multi, Post-Canon, Recovery, Redemption, Rhys learns his actions have consequences and somehow this is a shocking revelation, rhys crushes on everyone but its nbd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15417639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilitana/pseuds/stilitana
Summary: Inside the vault is a maze and inside the maze is the treasure, because of course it can't be so simple.Rhys' cybernetics are on the fritz, Fiona's realizing there's a little more to leading a vault hunting team than she bargained for, and Vaughn just wishes everybody would take a moment to read the many conflict resolution manuals lying around.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, hope you enjoy this story. Warnings in this chapter for some mild ableist language. Nothing you wouldn't hear in canon, just trying to be true to how these characters would speak about each other and themselves.
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos to let me know what you think! It really motivates me and I'm always open to critique as it helps me improve. Thanks for reading. :)

Rhys and Fiona felt tugged by hooks in their chests through a pinhole. Around them a whirlwind made up of every sensation they’d ever experienced raged around them. They were compressed until they were of one being and neither could tell where each ended and the other began. The sensations were too jumbled and spinning too fast to process and retain anything but the vaguest feeling or impression. If they tried to scream, it was silently, for the breath was ripped from their lungs. Then they were through.

They fell from a height onto a hill. Fiona gasped and instinctively tucked herself into a roll to recover from the fall. Rhys’ reflexes were not so quick; he sprawled end over end, tumbling until his back slammed into a rock. He cried out and lay on his side for a moment to wait out his nausea, both from the pain and from...whatever had just gone on when they opened the vault. His vision was spinning. His ankle throbbed.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he groaned, sitting up.

“What is it?” Fiona said, walking towards him and shielding her eyes from the sun as she peered around. Whatever she saw at the base of the hill made her purse her lips. She turned away from it to stare down at Rhys, hands on her hips. “Well, that was weird.”

“You think?” he said, his voice strained. God, his head was really, really killing him. His migraines had been brutal lately, ever since…

Well, ever since he’d dug some very delicate cybernetics that were deeply attached to his brain out of his skull with a shard of glass. He guessed he probably should have seen somebody about that before he ran off vault hunting. Or at least brought some ibuprofen. He’d just been so busy, between trying not to bleed out, dragging his mangled body to the Atlas facility, surviving by the skin of his teeth all alone in said big, empty, echoey facility where he swore he heard people whispering in the corridors, mending his wounds, reading everything he could find on cybernetics so he could attach the new ones himself, then starting to figure out the logistics of being a CEO…

So, yeah. Maybe he hadn’t been taking such great care of himself lately. Pandora did that to a guy, he guessed.

Fiona was still looking all squinty-eyed and stern off into the distance.

“Help me up, please? Fiona?” he said.

She extended a hand and hauled him to his feet where he immediately swooned and would’ve fallen again had she not gripped him by the biceps and supported him.

“Oh, wow, ok, ouch,” he said, getting a hold of himself and putting his weight on his right leg alone. His ears were ringing. What else was new.

“What the hell, Rhys?”

He held her shoulder to balance himself and hesitated, wincing more from embarrassment. And pain. The pain was still there, too, he wasn’t about to forget that.

“I think I may have...sprained my ankle. A tiny bit.”

“We just got here,” Fiona said, though not without a trace of sympathy. She gave him a fond look of exasperation and sighed, shaking her head. “How you made it this far being as fragile and accident-prone as you are is beyond me. You’d find a way to get hurt in a padded cell.”

_Which is probably where you’re headed in the long run, cupcake._

Rhys winced and grit his teeth, shoving the voice aside. He knew it wasn’t really Jack, it couldn’t be. It was just that he’d been in there so long that Rhys’ internal voice had started to sound like him. That was all. The truth of that didn’t always make him feel any better about it, though. It frightened him.

“I am not accident-prone. We just got flung through some kind’ve dimensional portal, I think that warrants an injury! It’s a pretty badass way to get injured, actually.”

“Well, it sure is cramping this whole vault excursion,” Fiona said. “‘Cause it looks like whatever treasure is in here is playing hard to get.”

“What do you mean?”

“Turn around, Rhys.”

He did so, still leaning on her shoulder. He squinted in the light. His replacement ECHO eye was acting up, as usual, which he guessed was what he got for performing what had been an hours long surgery with a blunt instrument and his bare hands, then replacing it himself like an electrician trying to wire a rocket. No. Like a plumber trying to wire a rocket. Like...like...any number of good analogies. Urgh. This headache was going to kill him. The eye refused to adjust to the light so he closed it and just looked with his real one.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, come on,” Rhys wailed. “Fiona! Fiona, look at — look at this — this brimming sack of shit!”

“I know.”

It was a maze. A gigantic, imposing stone maze.

Rhys tugged his collar away with his finger and cleared his throat. His voice still went up an octave when he spoke. “Maybe it’s just...decor. Or a distraction. I mean, come on, we don’t know that the treasure’s in there.”

“The treasure’s in the center of the maze, Rhys.”

“Oh, so you’re a maze expert now, huh?”

“It wouldn’t make any sense otherwise.”

“Nothing in life makes sense!” he said, throwing up his hands, which threw him off balance. He quickly grabbed onto her shoulder again. He gave a helpless, frustrated groan. “Just — ngh! Why is there always something? There’s always gotta be something.”

Fiona cocked a hip and stared at him with a mixture of amusement and impatience. “How much longer is this temper tantrum gonna last? Your record is ten seconds. Let’s try and wrap this up and set a new one. It’s a maze, the treasure’s inside it, we’ve still got at least a little ways to go.”

“I’m not — this isn’t a tantrum,” he muttered, calming down and rubbing the back of his neck. “I just...you know, I’m really freaking tired, and now my ankle’s all messed up, and my head feels like it’s splitting open, and I just — was really looking forward to seeing what was in that vault.”

“Believe me, so am I,” she said, clapping him on the back. “And we’re going to. It’s just gonna take a little more effort, but hey, we’re still having fun, right? This means the adventures still got a little life left in it. Are you up for it?”

“Yes,” Rhys said, his shoulders sagging. “I could just...maybe go for a coffee first. A sandwich. A nap.”

Fiona snorted. “You’re such a whiner, you know that?”

“But I’m your whiner.”

She looked at him oddly. “If that makes you feel better. But I do know what you mean. Now that the adrenaline from the fight is wearing off, I...don’t know if I’m up for whatever’s in that maze right this second.”

“Oh, because you know it’s not just a maze.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“There’s probably axes that’ll come swinging down from the ceiling.”

“Snake pits.”

“Attack dogs.”

“Quicksand.”

“Exactly. And...we should regroup with the others. Figure this out together, get a plan of action.”

“Oh, because you’re so good at planning ahead.”

“I’d really like to be,” he said, sounding far more longing and exhausted than he’d meant to let on. He dragged a hand down his face. “God, Fiona, I’d really like to be better. At that. Among other things.”

“Wow. That was shockingly lucid, coming from you.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous. Try not to strain yourself.”

“Fiona.”

She laughed. “I’m just messing with you. You survived, Rhys. We made it through. So, if you wanna work on some things...you have that chance now. And, for what it’s worth, you’ve got a pretty decent group of people who’ve got your back.”

“Thanks. And...well, it seems weird to rush into this, what with Sasha nearly...you know.”

Fiona grimaced. “I know. Let’s get back. Take a breather. Reassess. It’ll still be here when we get back.”

Rhys nodded but neither of them made a move or spoke for several moments.

Finally Rhys broke the silence. “It’s just really hard not to feel like it’s gonna disappear after all that work.”

“I know,” Fiona sighed. “This sucks.” Then she turned around and slung his arm across her shoulders. “Come on, limpy. Let’s get some ice on that ankle. Wouldn’t want that fragile skin of yours to start bruising and swelling.”

As she helps him up the hill he can’t help but think about the awkward conversation they’d had before entering the vault wherein he’d kind’ve sort’ve maybe confessed to having a thing for Sasha but had also been so hopelessly vague and hesitant that it might’ve been hard to tell. Either way, Fiona had been...surprisingly ok with it. She hadn’t yelled at him or threatened to feed him to a pit of skags if he hurt her baby sister or anything.

He looked at her from the side. She had that same determined smile she’d worn since they’d raced for the vault, but also the faintest pinch to her brow, as though she were thinking deeply. He nearly gasped from the force of the sudden surge of affection for her that swelled in his chest. Oh, no. No, no, no. He couldn’t do the multi-crush thing anymore, it was killing him. Did everybody have to deal with this? He didn’t think so, based on how Vaughn had always been surprised by his ability to have another crush every week, and Yvette just exasperated. But then again, neither of them were exactly the dating type.

_Ding ding! Now he’s starting to get the picture. It wasn’t your mad hacking skills the two of them needed, Rhysie. It was your willingness to schmooze at parties and then go blow or bang anybody and everybody in exchange for favors. You know that’s all on file, right?_

Rhys ignored his...conscious? Is that what that was? It wasn’t even talking about the same thing anyway. This was different. This was...his feelings.

And the thought of Yvette brought a fresh wave of staggering guilt crashing through him. He'd released her from her cell and then she'd helped him shut down the core, but he hadn't seen her since she'd taken off in the last escape pod. He really, really hoped she was alive. That would be...well, one last person he'd killed.

They went back towards the swirling portal and stepped through, then down the vault stairs and out into the ravine where their friends were hovering around the arch. They all gave relieved smiles when they saw Fiona and Rhys, until they saw how she was helping him walk.

“Dude, what happened?” said Vaughn, rushing over.

Ah, Vaughn. The crushing on Vaughn days had been the worst. Really, actually, the worst. If they reappeared now that he was a hunky Pandoran badass Rhys might have to go live in a cave or something.

“He tripped and broke his ankle,” said Fiona.

Vaughn grinned despite his worry. “Seriously? Like, as soon as you got in there?”

“Yup,” said Fiona.

“It spit us out on a hill!” Rhys said.

“Wait, what?” Sasha asked. “A hill? Where’s all the cool loot?”

“Well…” said Fiona. “Yeah, we’ve gotta talk about that.”

A wave of nausea swept up from Rhys’ stomach. He clutched his belly and had to bite his lips to suppress a moan. Ok, yup, this migraine had just promoted itself from painful nuisance to debilitating and was rapidly climbing the ladder into _it might be less painful to pull his teeth out_ territory.

Rhys swayed on his feet despite Fiona’s support.

Vaughn was looking at him worriedly but his vision was blurring so maybe that was just his face.

“Rhys, you don’t look so good all of a sudden, man. Maybe you should sit down.”

“Mhm,” Rhys said, and then pitched forwards and the world warped around him. He felt time slow down. It wasn’t exactly like blacking out but his senses were so distorted that he felt he might as well have. Lights were flashing in the sky, a tingling sensations traveled up and down his body.

Then it was fading. He was on his back and the lights were gone and the sky was blue again and the weird taste was fading from his mouth. He was on the ground. Why was he on the ground, how had he gotten there? He was confused. His head felt foggy and there was an immense fatigue settled way down in his bones. He struggled to sit up and immediately Vaughn was out his side, helping him.

“What the fuck?” Rhy said.

“What the fuck!” said Sasha. “What was all that?”

“What do you mean?” Rhys said, trying not to snap, which was difficult because a sudden uncomfortable irritability had possessed him and made his skin feel hot and tight.

“You just spazzed out,” Fiona said.

“Why am I on the ground?”

“Because you spazzed out,” Fiona said.

“Fiona sort’ve dropped you,” said Vaughn.

“Because you were flipping out!”

“Everybody calm down,” Vaughn said, making gestures with his hands he probably thought were soothing. They were familiar. Yes. They were ones they’d learned in a conflict deescalation seminar. “Rhys, man...I think you might’ve just had seizure.”

“But — no. No, I haven’t had one of those since I was a kid,” Rhys said, blinking at him.

“I know,” Vaughn said. “But it sure looked like one, and you’re all confused and starey now, like you’d get then.”

“You mean this happens to you often?” Sasha said, horrified.

“I had it — no. That doesn’t make sense, I had it fixed,” Rhys said. He’d dug his heels in and was determined not to budge.

“I know, man, and maybe that’s not what it was, or maybe it’s just a fluke, let’s not freak out. But, uh, you guys said you had something to talk to us about, so this is a good time to head back to Helios anyway and take a little break.”

“Is he ok now?” Fiona asked Vaughn, as though Rhys were some kind of invalid and couldn’t speak for himself.

“He should be alright,” Vaughn said.

“I’m fine,” Rhys snapped, getting to his feet, forgetting his ankle until putting weight on it sent a throbbing ache up his leg. He grimaced and let Vaughn help him walk. As they turned back to Helios he saw the rest of their vault hunting team watching from a distance. August and Athena stood with their arms crossed, their usual grim expressions in place. Springs looked mildly concerned. Gortys and Loader Bot were already coming towards them.

“Rhys!” Gortys said, flinging herself at him and clutching his leg. “Are you alright? We saw you fall over! Then you were all — twitchy! Like the time LB had a circuit short out!”

Fiona snorted. “Yeah, Rhys’ got a couple wires crossed up there,” she said, twirling a finger around her head.

Ignoring her, Rhys smiled adoringly and pat Gortys on the head. “I’m ok, Gortys. Promise.”

“We’re gonna go back to Helios and have a talk about the vault,” Fiona said to the rest of the group. “There’s a maze. We need to regroup, figure out our next move. If you guys need to go look for yourselves, be my guest. Then you can decide if you’re still in.”

“I said I was in, so I’m in,” August grunted.

Athena and Springs turned to have a muttered conversation between them. Then Athena gave Fiona a nod and the two of them headed for the vault.

“They’ll probably crack it in two seconds and run off with the treasure,” said Rhys.

Fiona shrugged. “Maybe. But I’m not worried. Whoever made the vault would’ve been capable of making a real pain in the ass maze.”

“True,” Rhys conceded.

Thankfully the walk to Helios was very short. Vaughn took them in through a back way to avoid the groveling masses of the recently liberated corporate workforce. He led them up to the level that had housed many of the employee seminars and conference rooms. They went into one of the nicer break rooms that the two of them had never had access to. It had a big plush sofa set into a circular depression in the floor. It ringed the circle around a round white table with a yellow Hyperion H in the center.

Vaughn helped Rhys flop down on the edge of the sofa and then went to rummage around in the kitchenette getting them drinks.

“Thank God all the power didn’t go,” he said. “We’ve managed to reroute a lot of it to the remaining functional generators, but I don’t know how long that can last.”

He returned with cups of water and a bag of frozen peas he tossed in Rhys’ lap. Rhys kicked his shoe off and stretched his legs out along the sofa, pressed the peas on his ankle through his black sock with the purple stars on it. There was still more than enough room for everybody else at the gigantic sofa. Vaughn slid in next to him while Sasha sat across and Fiona paced around them.

“How are you feeling?” Rhys asked Sasha.

She smiled. “Honestly? Other than the arm, like ten million bucks.”

“That’s great. Really, really great.”

“I’ve got somebody bringing up a sling for your arm,” Vaughn said. “We, uh...don’t exactly have a lot of medical doctors running around, but enough people paid attention in the emergency medical training we all had to have that a good number of them can at least fix up a simple break.”

“You had a lot of medical emergencies up there?” Fiona said, quirking a brow.

“Oh, yeah,” Vaughn said with a nervous laugh. “You know, people tossed through glass elevators, pens stuck through somebody’s spleen, the...the fax machine incident.”

“What was that?” Fiona said.

“What’s a fax machine?” asked Sasha.

Rhys shuddered. “You don’t wanna know the answer to either of those questions.”

A guy in slacks he’d cut off above the knee wearing a black tie around his head like a sweatband entered the room holding a bundle of supplies. He stopped beside the table and stared at Rhys. His face was sweaty, his eyes wide. He was breathing rapidly.

Rhys gave him a hesitant smile. “Um...hello there.”

“H…” the guy said, dragging the noise out so long it became one raspy exhale. Rhys winced. “Hello,” he finally managed.

Then he dumped the stuff on the table and scurried from the room.

“Vaughn, what is the matter with these guys?” Rhys said.

Vaughn shrugged. “I don’t know, bro, you really gotta ask? These are the same people Jack terrorized for all their corporate lives. Half of them probably have some kind’ve mild Stockholm Syndrome. For the rest it’s either a simmering lust for revenge or else they’re the type that’s easily brainwashed and are now probably entirely dependant on having a cult of personality to fall in line with, so they’ve just projected onto you all the things they used to want from Jack. It’s a wonder they’re not more fucked up. At least they haven’t tried offering blood sacrifices yet.”

“I don’t think I like this. At all. Do I get a say in this? I mean, seriously, it’s really...really creepy. And a lot of pressure. And quite frankly, after everything, just kind’ve insensitive for them to reclaim a statue of Jack in my name.”

Vaughn held up his hands. “Trust me, bro, I’m with you. But...maybe it’ll fade with time? I say let them have their little cult thing for now, if that’s what they need to cope.”

Sasha screamed and both boys startled, whipping around to find Fiona had just reset the break in her arm.

“Ok, ok, it’s over,” she said, smoothing Sasha’s hair back from her face.

“Geez, Fiona! I wasn’t ready!”

“Who’s ever ready for that? Better to catch you off guard.”

She then set about preparing the wrap and sling to hold the arm in place.

“If we manage to find a real doctor, or at least somebody halfway competent, we can maybe get an actual cast for you,” Vaughn said. “But for now...well, sorry we can’t do more.”

“It’s fine, Vaughn,” Sasha said, giving him a small smile. “Thank you.”

Ooook. So those were gooey doe eyes she was giving him, and — yup, he was giving his own version back...his own very oblivious, out-of-his-depth version.

Alright, that was...something. Rhys wasn’t upset, or jealous, exactly, just...well, he was a little mixed up, and not just because of that. Whatever. It was none of his business who Sasha made eyes at. And he understood that she’d seen his withholding of the information about AI Jack as a betrayal. While they were on good terms now, it might take a little while to rebuild her trust, however frustrating that was, because, come on, what was he supposed to do? She should understand that the way they’d reacted had proved the reason for his secrecy. Then he realized he wasn't even exactly sure which of them he was jealous of and had to suppress a frustrated groan.

“Rhys?” Vaughn said, waving a hand in front of his face.

Rhys blinked. “What?”

“You zoned out there for a second.”

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“So you wanna...tell us what’s been going on with you?” Vaughn said.

Rhys’ heart rate picked up. He knew his face must look cornered, on the verge of panic. He tried to smile but it didn’t seem to set anybody at ease. “What...do you mean?”

“Well, just in general, man, how’ve you been? Have you been having seizures, or was that the first?”

“That was the first,” Rhys said. Then he felt the guilt he’d been getting lately whenever he lied to a friend, which was irritating. “Well...I mean, I had some after...during the...I mean, when I was at Atlas, right after Helios crashed. But. I don’t think those count.”

“How does that not count, Rhys?”

Rhys got defensive, and when he got defensive he became belligerent. He crossed his arms. “I mean, there had to be some kind of side effects, and it went away, mostly, after I got all this...er...fixed up,” he said, waving a hand around his face.

Vaughn just stared at him, bewildered, and Rhys could’ve smacked himself. Of course, Vaughn and Sasha hadn’t been there when he’d explained all this to Loader Bot and Fiona when they’d been taken prisoner, he didn’t know. He gave a helpless look to Fiona but she offered no help, just stared back with steely resolve in her eyes, raised a brow.

Rhys gulped. “Well, Vaughn...you know how I had Jack sort’ve...in my head, for a little while?”

Vaughn grimaced. “Still freaky. How could I forget.”

Rhys gave a high, nervous laugh. “Right. Well, he sort’ve — it’s a long story, but, well, you know, we were kind’ve double crossing him, cutting him out of the deal, and then he wanted to skin me and shove this robot endoskeleton inside me so he could, I don’t know, I guess pilot my body like a skin suit, and that was sort’ve, well, I didn’t like that, and then all this stuff happened ‘cause I sort’ve freaked out and tried to kill him, and he tried to kill me, and I may have sort’ve cut power to Helios without thinking, and then we crashed, but he was still alive, and it was this big huge dramatic thing, and he tried to strangle me with my own arm ‘cause I guess at that point it was a if-I’m-going-down-so-are-you type of deal, ha ha, so, um, tore off the arm, but he wouldn’t stop talking and I couldn’t take it anymore so I just had to sort’ve rip the rest of it out too.”

Vaughn’s mouth opened and closed. Fearing his rejection, Rhys laughed again and then he couldn’t stop babbling. “So yeah, learned my lesson, I guess! Never meet your heroes, they’re all assholes, ha ha, um, that’s what he said, and I think, he was right, about a lot of things, but mostly he was just a huge disappointing manipulative sadistic jerk, and...and in hindsight, was crashing Helios the best course of action? No, probably not!” he said, his voice going high and creaky. “But I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t even — I didn’t think that cutting the power core would bring Helios down. Sort’ve crazy, right? But, I was so focused on getting rid of Jack, and I was, well, to tell you the truth, going out of my mind a little, I mean, I knew what it would do, I just didn’t think, I didn’t _fucking think.”_

“Rhys,” Vaughn said, putting a hand on his shoulder, his voice calm and low.

Rhys had his head in his hands. He peered at Vaughn, who looked stricken.

“So, you’re...yeah, you don’t always think things through,” Vaughn said. He looked pale. “You...really almost never do. Yeah, you’re impulsive, you’ve got a one-track mind, you sort’ve tend to zero in on something and then can’t let it go. Yeah. Ok. But, please, try not to spiral, it’s...it’s done.”

Rhys felt queasy. He’d shoved all of this in a little box, nailed the box shut, and kicked it to the corner of his mind. Now it was swallowing him whole.

“Oh, God, Vaughn,” Rhys moaned.

“Listen, Rhys, we all knew you brought the station down, Jack kept saying it on the comms. And, I’ll admit, I was a little, like, whoa, man, whoa, when I heard about it. But, uh...I know you, and I waited to hear your side of things before I thought anything of it, and I’m glad I did, because, wow, man, just...shit.”

“Yeah,” Rhys said, weakly.

“But, uh — man, you weren’t in your right mind, you know? And now, look, those cybernetics, man, you know as well as I do, the mountains of paperwork and waivers, the risks, how delicate and involved all that was, and you...I mean, with a piece of glass, Rhys, really, that shit was in your brain, man, and you — if you’re having seizures, it’s no wonder!”

Rhys stood, his chest heaving. He was terrified and didn’t know why, it came out of nowhere, swooped down out of the ceiling and sank into him. That had been happening lately, too. He staggered back and turned toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Fiona said.

“Just — air. I need a little air,” Rhys gasped, limping to the door.

“Come back, Rhys, sit down,” Sasha called.

Rhys waved a hand. “I’m fine, sorry, not trying to make a scene, here, just — you guys keep on...whatever you’re doing, I’m just gonna...I need some space.”

Fiona stood to follow him.

“Wait,” Vaughn murmured. “Give him a minute.”

Rhys stumbled out the door and into the hall where he staggered randomly into another, smaller breakroom. He kept the lights off and went to the sink. He splashed water on his face and then sank down to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest, pressed his face into the dark box between his legs and chest, took wet, heaving breaths.

A few moments later he felt something bump into his legs. He looked up to see Gortys watching him.

“Hi, G-Gortys,” he said, wiping the snot from his face with his sleeve.

“Hi Rhys,” she said. “Vaughn said you were sad...he told me you wanted some alone time, but I just wanted to make sure there was nothing I could do to make you feel better. If you want me to go, I’ll leave. I know sometimes you just need time to yourself.”

“Thanks,” Rhys said, still gasping. He held out his arms.

With a delighted gasp she quickly suppressed, Gortys sped into his arms and wrapped her own around him. He slumped down into the hug.

“It’ll all be ok, Rhys,” Gortys said. “It’s like you told me, when we had to fight that monster — it’s not so scary if you remember we’re doing it together!”  
For some reason those words were the final straw. He started to cry. First softly, and then he was heaving with gross, ugly sobs and getting tears all over her chassis.

“Oh, no. Was it something I said?”

“N-no,” he said, his voice thick. “You’re perfect, Gortys, no, God, I just — I think I’m a little...I think I’m a little messed up. I didn’t want to be, be like this, but it’s not going away, it’s not getting better. I don’t know how I ever thought I could run a company, or hunt for vaults, or do anything. I’m a freaking mess.”

“I think you’re great,” Gortys said, her voice faltering, clearly taken aback by his despair. “There’s lots of things you’re good at, Rhys. Maybe they’re not the things you wanted to be good at, or maybe you just haven’t given yourself enough of a chance, but either way, it’s not fair to beat yourself up!”

“I’m an idiot!” Rhys wailed. He didn’t care that he was being pathetic. He _was_ pathetic, and he wanted to act like it, he wanted to sit on the floor and throw a tantrum, god damn it. “I’m, I’m just like he said, I can’t do anything right. I’m falling apart.”

Gortys, at a loss for words, started to emit a gentle vibration and to rock back and forth. She carried him with her movement and after a few more minutes he realized he’d stopped hyperventilating and his tears were slowing, he could breathe, he could think. He felt like a little kid again.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

Gortys hummed and nudged her head beneath his chin like a cat. “I love you, Rhys,” she said.

He hugged her tighter and then stood and wobbled to the door. “I guess I’d better go and see what —"

When the door slid open there were Sasha, Fiona, Vaughn, and the rest of the vault hunting team, staring at him with varying degrees of disgust and pity.

Rhys yelped and the six of them made comical, futile efforts to pretend they hadn’t just heard him crying his eyes out. He rubbed at his eyes as discreetly as he could but was sure they were red and puffy. He cleared his throat, determined to get control of himself and the situation again and to act like none of that had just happened.

“So...team meeting time?” he said.

“Er...yeah,” said Fiona. “You good?”

“I’m fine, why?”

She just stared at him.

“After the meeting, are we gonna go straight into the vault?” Gortys said.

“Well, we have to talk about that,” said Fiona.

“Because I’m a little worn out after the battle, Fiona,” said Gortys. “I think my internal processors might need to be calibrated before I feel up to another adventure! Not that I’m not super excited to explore the vault with all of you!”

“I think we all might appreciate a night’s sleep before we head out,” said Springs, arms crossed. “And after taking a look at that maze, we probably need to gather supplies. We could be in there for days.”

“It doesn’t pay in this business to rush in unprepared,” Athena agreed, albeit it begrudgingly.

“Not to mention Sasha’s arm,” August said.

“My arm’s fine.”

“It’s broken.”

“It’s still fine.”

August sighed and let the topic drop.

“Alright...everybody rest, eat, and we’ll reconvene tomorrow,” Fiona said.

“I’ll show you some rooms,” Vaughn said. “We’re still working on clearing away the rubble, figuring out what’s usable, but we should have enough space for all of you.”

He led them to the old employee quarters. They hadn’t yet cleared the way to the upper level bedrooms so it was just the middle management bunks. Vaughn put Athena and Springs in a room across from August and then led the rest of them up a level. He put Rhys in a tiny room connected to his own by a door and put Fiona and Sasha on his other side. He tried to ignore the feeling that they were purposefully boxing him in. He was probably just paranoid. ANd even if it was irritating, could he blame them for being a little wary, after the scene he’d just made, after they all knew Jack had been in his brain moving all the furniture around?

His and Vaughn’s room was set up the way their old dorm had been; two separate bedrooms with their own bathroom, shared common area with a living room and kitchenette. Even though it had irked him at the time, served as  a reminder of how far he had left to climb, now Rhys was grateful for the familiarity, even if it did bring back painful memories of his Jack-worshiping days. He flopped on the couch in the common area and leaned his head against the back of the sofa.

“Rhys, man,” Vaughn said, sitting across from him in an armchair. “I’m worried about you.”

“‘M fine.”

“Look, don’t get mad, but it doesn’t seem like you’re fine. And it’s ok if you’re not. You can tell me, there’s no reason to hide it. I’m not judging you, I’m not gonna tell anybody. It’s different now. No reason for posturing here anymore.”

He was right. Rhys sighed. “When did you become so wise?”

Vaughn snorted. “Don’t be a jackass.”

“I was only half kidding,” Rhys said, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees, massaging his temples. “You’re right, man, I have felt a little off lately. I don’t know if I need a doctor or a software engineer and I can’t get either so it doesn’t matter.”

“Just tell me what’s been going on.”

Rhys rattled off what he’d been experiencing since the Helios crash, though as he spoke he realized some was from even before that. “Migraines, dizzy spells, weird sensations, trouble focusing, trouble sleeping...uh...mood swings, sometimes...panic attacks...you know.”

Vaughn nodded and bit his lip. “So...sounds pretty similar to the list of possible side effects of cybernetic surgery I remember. But that could be so many things.”

“Right? It could even, you know, just be stress.”

“Yeah,” Vaughn said, though he didn’t sound convinced. “But...I’m gonna scout for somebody with either medical or cybernetic surgery background. I think you should have this checked out, Rhys. I mean...who knows what’s going on. Not that you’re not a computer genius and all, but you’re not exactly qualified to install your own cybernetics.”

“I know. I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“I understand that, I’m not reprimanding you, man. Just. It sucks.”

“Yeah.”

They turned in for the night. Rhys lay awake for hours and then slid into a nightmare about being chased down a never ending dark hallway by medical supplies and robotic arms. It was cartoonish when he woke and thought about it but absolutely horrifying during the dream.

In the morning they meet to discuss the vault. He sits quietly through the debating back and forth despite the confused glances Fiona keeps shooting him, waiting for his input. He nods his head where appropriate and mumbles agreements. They decide to set aside a week to gather supplies, research the vault, and mend their wounds. Then they’ll meet back here to assess their next steps, which will likely be to fling themselves head first into the vault. They don’t have a whole lot of impulse control between them and by then their patience will surely be running thin.

“We need everybody on board with this,” Fiona said, looking right at Rhys. “We chose this team for a reason, it’s only gonna work if we’re all sharp.”

He stared back at her. “Why’re you looking at me?”

“I’m looking at all of you.”

“No, you’ve literally been staring at me, like, this whole time. Of course I’m on board, Fiona, come on.”

“You’re spacing out! You’re hardly paying attention.”

Rhys waved a hand. “I heard everything you said. It’s just that you guys repeat yourselves so much I’ve learned to only listen the first time you say something.”

Fiona rolled her eyes and pointed a finger at him. “Do not screw us over, Rhys.”

“What the heck are you saying that for!”

“You’re wigging out. Get it together. You’ve got a week to take care of your shit.”

“Well, you have a week to take care of your shit.”

“Are you two always like this?” August grunted.

“Yes,” said Sasha and Vaughn at once.

Fiona glared at Rhys and he smirked back at her.

It was going to be fine. He was going to be fine. He had a week. A week to pack up all his baggage and shove it down deep somewhere he would never, ever have to deal with it again, and then he could be the vault-hunting company-running suave handsome badass he was born to be. Yeah. Everything was going to start going his way. He’d survived the worst of it, now he just...had to pull himself together.

No problem. He was the master of self-control. Healing, self-care, reflection, self-awareness...piece of cake.

He sauntered from the meeting room and then slumped against the wall in the corridor, blew a slow breath out through his lips. Yeah...he was so screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhys sure does cry a lot in this huh.
> 
> At long last darling Yvette makes her first appearance. :,)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading. :) As always, comments are much appreciated. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> If you wanna chat, you can find me on tumblr at eucheuma.  
> http://eucheuma.tumblr.com

Rhys is in a meeting when he starts thinking about worms. The meeting is a quarterly review on Atlas finances, products, public image. The worms are the kind that live in your gut. Tapeworms, specifically, but there are probably all kinds. It’s just the tapeworm was the one August had and told him about one evening when they were tipsy. Many feet long, living, breeding, eating, shitting, dying. The company is doing well and growing fast and outperforming by all expectations, but they have a long way to go and a lot of rebuilding to do. It’s a ground up operation. The media is frenzied. People want to know who the guy is that had something to do with the end of Handsome Jack and Hyperion, the vault hunter, the company man, the new CEO. They aren’t sure what to make of him. He’s so far been a far cry from the ruthlessness people came to expect from Hyperion, but they’re still wary, he’s no outright philanthropist if his dodgy public image is true, he’s a wild card.

In the meeting they sit at a rectangular table. There’s just five of them. It’s his inner circle, or the closest thing he has at Atlas. He doesn’t really trust any of them except Cassius, and he has to trust Cassius because he’s Rhy’s personal doctor-mechanic and the only person he knows with any knowledge whatsoever about cybernetics. The rest are just some guys. He can’t even remember their names. He thinks about the worm that was in August’s gut and about how he keeps feeling odd twinges in his arm and eye and all up and down his brain.

The guy across from him is a kiss-ass. He’s staring at Rhys hungrily. Rhys knows the type. He is the type. Or was the type. He doesn’t know what he is anymore. The guy keeps congratulating him on the company’s success, how it owes everything to him, yadda yadda. It’s only a matter of time until he starts chopping himself up to get ahead, selling his body to the company. Not that that’s the kind of atmosphere Rhys is fostering among his employees. It just happens.

_You’re Hyperion property, never forget. I own you, cupcake. Literally. How much of you is tech by now? It’s gotta be a majority. I can feel it. You’re hardly even a man anymore, you’re a machine. Was it worth it? Wasitworthitwasitworthitwasit—_

The light above him is very bright all of a sudden. He isn’t sure which eye is causing the trouble or if it’s both. He’s supposed to be better. People told him he was better. His Atlas people. He didn’t feel better. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Where they looking at him funny? They looked like predators. He had the sense suddenly they’d all like it if he’d drop dead and then they’d descend like vultures to rip him apart and feast on the spoils. He felt tingles in his arm and his head. His chest was tight. His head was going to explode. Blood would get on the clean white leather. Someone would have to clean that up. Not him. Not him, it wouldn’t be his problem. He wondered if August even remembered telling him about the worm. The room was spinning. He was terrified. He stood up and his chair scraped back across the floor.

“Sir?” said the kiss-up. “What’s the matter?”

Everyone was staring.

“I feel funny,” Rhys said. He tried to swallow but his throat was dry. His ears were ringing. He felt cold and numb, like he was floating outside and above himself, over in the corner of the room. _This isn’t real,_ he thought, without knowing why he thought it.

Cassius stood and took him lightly by the arm and led him out into the hall and then into a dimly lit room.

He shouldn’t have come here.

_You shouldn’t have come here._

_I had to, I can’t just sit back and do nothing. This is my company. I have to be a leader._

_You? A leader? Oh, ha, that’s rich. Listen, princess. You’re a pretty face to put on posters and promotional materials. You’re no leader. I offered you everything and you turned me down, and why? You were afraid of commitment, you knew you couldn’t handle it, at heart you know you’re a fraud, an empty-headed ditz. You don’t have the stomach for business. I should’ve seen that all along, asked you to be my trophy husband, maybe then you wouldn’t have bailed. Go home, Rhysie. You don’t belong here._

He shouldn’t have come here.

“You need to breathe,” said Cassius. “Or I’m going to have to call somebody.”

“I’m breathing,” Rhys gasped.

“Slower. Come on, Rhys. Count how I showed you last time. Count with me. Breathe like I am.”

The old man was surprisingly patient with him. Rhys had lost patience with himself a long time ago. _What’s got your panties in a twist, sissy-boy?_ said Jack. But Jack was gone. It wasn’t him. It was a ghost in his brain.

Rhys breathed. After a few minutes that lasted an eternity he calmed down. When he became aware of himself and what had happened he sighed and let his head fall back against the wall with a thud, closed his eyes.

“What set it off this time?” asked Cassius.

“I don’t know. Something’s wrong.”

Cassius paused before replying. He’d learned to speak softly and gently with Rhys and Rhys knew it and hated it but knew it was his fault, that he’d taught the other man to do so by being so sensitive and fragile and moody all the time, for flying off the handle and losing his mind right in front of everybody. “We’ve run multiple diagnostics on the cybernetics, Rhys. We haven’t turned up any issues.”

“Let’s run another. There’s gotta be something. I’m telling you something doesn’t feel right.”

“I believe you. I’m just not sure I think it’s the cybernetics. Or not them alone, at least.”

“What else could it be?”

“We’ve talked about it. Don’t pretend you don’t remember. You need to see a doctor.”

“I am. I’m seeing you.”

“I’m not that kind of doctor.”

“What kind?”

“The head kind. The kind whose knowledge of panic attacks doesn’t come entirely from five minutes of research because his boss has just fallen into hysterics right in front of him because a loud noise scared him. I don’t say that to be rude,” he said, interrupting Rhys before he had a chance to speak. “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. This is where we are now, Rhys. There’s only so much I can do. It hasn’t stopped or gone away on its own. It’s gotten worse. The stress can’t be helping.”

“Well, I can’t do anything about that. Stress is sort’ve part of the job,” Rhys said with a nervous laugh, massaging his temples.

“You should take a break.”

“A break?”

“Is that not in your vocabulary? Let me help you. A vacation, Rhys. A rest. Give yourself time to pull yourself together, then come back and be the boss we both know you can be. You’re not being him right now. It doesn’t mean you won’t be, one day, maybe even soon. But not like this. You look like you haven’t slept. You haven’t shaved. Now is not the time to run off into a vault.”

“I’ve been very busy.”

“Everybody can smell the alcohol on you, Rhys.”

“Is it a crime for a guy to have a drink?”

“No,” Cassius said.

Something in his face made Rhys defensive. It was disappointment.

“It helps me sleep,” he said.

“That doesn’t make it any better. That’s worse. That’s self-medicating. And it’s 9:30 in the morning. Come on, Rhys. You know this can’t go on. The company will be fine if you take a couple weeks off. Hell, take a couple months. You earned it, after the time you’ve been having.”

“I can’t just leave. I’ve only just gotten here.”

“It will all still be here. Nobody can steal anything out from under you, there’s not going to be any underhandedness. Not successful underhandedness, anyway. You should be well aware of your own failsafes. We’re too small right now anyway, nobody would bother messing with us now when they could just wait for us to do the leg work instead. It’ll hold. Everybody knows who’s in charge. You’ll still be in communication, still be giving the final say-so on everything. You’ll just also, hopefully, be getting some damn rest.”

“I’ll think about it,” said Rhys. Then he strode from the room and out of the building. His skin was crawling. He wanted to take a shower. He was appalled that he’d left that morning without shaving or scrubbing the smell of whiskey out of his mouth. What was he becoming? Some kind of slob, some kind of deadbeat? Him? Owner and CEO of Atlas, a day drinking wreck? No, sir. Not if he had anything to say about it. Which he did. Only sometimes he wasn’t sure he had much control over himself at all, really.

Then he caused a scene by dissolving into sobs in the middle of the street and clawing at his own arm and face, begging passerbys to _get it off, please, help me get it off, get him out, I can feel it, please._

Later he sat on a padded bench too mortified to speak while Cassius cleaned and glued the gash he’d torn at the corner of his eye with his own nails and metal fingers. Seeing his own blood on the other man’s gloves turned his stomach. He staggered off the bench and wretched into the sink. He rinsed his mouth and turned around, trembling.

“I’ve thought about it,” he said weakly. “And I think I should take that vacation.”

Cassius nodded, his lips pressed into a thin, severe line. “Good idea.”

“Do you think the company will be ok without me?” Rheese fretted, wringing his hands.

Cassius sighed. He would have liked to make some sarcastic quip, but he wasn’t paid for that. He had the unique honor of the unofficial task of keeping a lid on the full extent of Rhys’ neuroses, making sure he didn’t completely lose it, at least not publicly. He was a scientist, god damn it, not a yes-man, he thought. But he was also just glad to be safe from bandits, so he’d say whatever Rhys wanted to for that privilege.

“While I’m sure we’ll all miss you, I’m sure it will be fine. We’ll still be in touch. You can continue monitoring and making decisions.”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“Well what if something goes wrong and I’m not here?”

“If it’s not something you can help fix remotely, then it probably doesn’t matter if you’re on site or not, Rhys. Just what are you worried about?”

“Bandit...attack?”

Cassius stared at him. “Rhys. If bandits attack, it’s best that you’re as far away as possible, where you’re already safe so nobody has to worry about you getting held for ransom. So...there’s that.”

Rhys opened his mouth as though to argue, raised a finger, then let it lower. His posture slumped. “You have a point. I don’t like it. But I can’t dispute it. But...where will I go?”

“I’ve heard Eden Nine is lovely this time of year.”

Rhys sighed. “I don’t know anybody there.”

“You can meet them. It’s luxury living. You’ll have nothing to worry about. You can relax.”

Rhys sighed. At one time it would’ve been tempting. It would’ve been more than tempting. But now, he wondered...what would he do there?

His brain supplied a litany of answers. Hang out on the beach, tan, sleep, eat a lot of sweet and greasy food, drink a lot of mixed drinks, hook up with well-dressed executives, sleep some more on clean soft sheets.

But...he’d be alone.

And he couldn’t afford the expense anyway. He hadn’t grown the company enough to warrant dipping into their funds for private excursions.

“I think I’ll just hang out on Pandora,” he said.

“Pandora?” said Cassius. “With the bandits, and the heat, and the dirt?”

“Er...yeah.”

Cassius sighed. “And...how is that going to help you relax?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I know how anymore.”

“Well, you’d better figure it out. You can’t keep on like this.”

“I know. I’ll figure it out, Cassius. I promise. I’m gonna take care of everything, I’m gonna...I’m gonna really do the shit out of this facing my problems thing, you know? And then I’m gonna come back and you’re not gonna believe it, I’m gonna take charge, I’m gonna make moves, I’m gonna be better than _he_ could ever dream of —”

Rhys cut himself off with a faint whimper and clutched at his head.

Cassius sighed. “Let’s not think about Jack right now, Rhys. No sense in comparing yourself to him. You’re not on Helios anymore. This is Pandora. The rules have changed. Just by surviving you’ll have won the hardest part.”

“Just survive?” Rhys muttered. “That’s all? Ok. I can do that.”

He never did take that vacation. Shortly after he was kidnapped and then the business with the vault happened. So. No time for whatever it was one did to relax on Pandora.

 

Rhys was fiddling with a computer terminal, trying to diagnose the issue with a wayward backup generator that kept causing what little power they had restored to flicker, when Vaughn came in and slumped beside him.

“Hey bro,” said Rhys. “What’s up?”

“Oh, you know. Just explaining for the fiftieth time today why we need to boil water we find in random puddles before drinking it. It’s a glamorous life, I know.”

Rhys shot him a wry smile. “You’re like, survivor man.”

Vaughn laughed and leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands over his stomach. “I wish. What’re you up to?”

“Trying to get some power back to the station,” Rhys muttered, continuing to type commands into the console. “I want a hot shower. It’s, like, an all-consuming desire. I’d sell my soul for it.”

“You think you can do that?” Vaughn said with interest, leaning forwards.

“Um, yeah, I’m brilliant,” said Rhys. Then he remembered he was trying to not be so much of a dick anymore. He cleared his throat. “I mean...yeah, I think so. I’m gonna try, anyway.”

“That’d be great, man.”

A silence came between them. It wasn’t totally uncomfortable, but definitely not as natural as their silences had been...before.

Rhys sighed and rubbed his eyes, wincing as the ECHO eye sent little pangs through his head. “Hey, man, I...there are some things I really need to say. Um. They’ve been on my mind for a while.”

“I’m here to listen, man. Whatever you need.”

Rhys gave a shaky laugh. “It’s just, uh. I. I brought the station down, Vaughn. I did that. And you...you’re taking care of the people who...who survived what I did. You’re...basically cleaning up my mess. And. I just don’t really know how I’m supposed to live with myself. I’m not asking you to comfort me or something, because I don’t deserve it, and it’s not your job, I just — I want to try and. I don’t know. I want to try and be a person I can live with. Who can sleep at night. I don’t know if it’s possible, but I have to try. And...I think I can’t do it alone. I’m not asking for any more than a chance. I know it’s...probably pretty hard to stomach being around me right now. But...I want to be here. I wanna help, if I can. If you’ll have me. I just —" Rhys broke off and turned away from Vaughn, pressed his flesh hand across his face to catch the sudden tears and stifle the pathetic whimpers in his throat. “I just really, really missed you, man, and I miss the way things were, and I know I can’t ever put it back together, all this shit I wrecked, it can’t ever be like it was, and I just — I feel ruined, Vaughn, I feel totally fucked, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this if I don’t do something that makes it — I don’t even know.”

He felt Vaughn’s hand press ever so lightly, then more firmly against his shoulder. “Hey, man,” he said softly. “I...I gotta tell you, I...appreciate you saying that. But I don’t agree with all of it. Like...you do deserve to feel ok, Rhys. If you mean what you say, and you really wanna make the effort, then...yeah, man, you deserve to feel better about this. I don’t know how long that’s gonna take. I wish I could tell you. But, uh...I got your back, man. And, you’re right, things...can’t be like they were. But we’re on Pandora now, so...maybe that’s a good thing. Shit’s fucked, but...we’re still here. As long as you’re still here, you can change, you can be...you can be good, Rhys. I know being good wasn’t...wasn’t exactly on our radar, for a long time. But, uh. I think we’ve gotta find some new standards for ourselves, ‘cause the way we lived at Hyperion? That wasn’t working for me anymore, either. We all want you here, Rhys. For what it’s worth, I’m...I’m really glad you’re ok, and that you’re here. I’ll admit, when I saw what was left with Helios, I was a little...it’s gonna take everybody a while to deal with what happened. But, Rhys...you’re my best friend. We’ll figure this out.”

Rhys finally let himself cry openly. He spun on his seat and dragged Vaughn into a full-bodied hug. “Thank you,” he said, gasping. “You won’t regret this. I’m not gonna fuck up like that again, Vaughn, I’m gonna do — I don’t know what yet, but something that’ll make you...make you proud of me, ok?”

“Hey, man, don’t worry about that. You don’t have to impress me. I believe you. And, uh...I kinda had something to show you,” Vaughn said, nudging Rhys until he let him go and sat back, sniffling and wiping his red face.

“What is it?”

Vaughn looked at him for a moment. His gaze was so impossibly soft and caring it took Rhys’ breath away. Then Vaughn nodded at the doorway. Rhys turned to look. Standing there, hesitantly, half in the hall, as though unsure of whether or not she should leave or walk in, was Yvette.

Then Rhys wept, silent tears that burst immediately from his eyes. He stood, took one faltering step forward, then froze, unsure how she would react, unsure how he would react.

He’d let her out of her cell, she’d helped him shut down the core. She was the only person who might possibly understand how it felt standing in the rubble of Helios, knowing what they’re actions had cost and how quickly it had all happened, how it wasn’t an act of sadism or cruelty but how that didn’t matter much in the aftermath, how actions had consequences no matter what good intentions they'd had. He’d encouraged her to take the last escape pod while he was stuck dealing with Jack. Even after all of that, he wasn’t sure how she’d receive him, if she’d be furious or cold.

She didn’t leave him wondering long. Yvette swallowed visibly past the lump in her throat and said, “Nice haircut.”

“Yvette,” he said, and took another step forward.

She finally unfroze and strode forward to pull him into a stiff, trembling hug. “Crybaby,” she muttered.

“Lunch stealer,” he said.

Over Rhys’ shuddering shoulders Yvette beckoned Vaughn forwards. “C’mere, money man, bring it in.”

“Aw, but you two are having a moment,” Vaughn said, smirking. His eyes were shining and so, so warm.

“Just get over here, bro,” Rhys sobbed, still clinging to Yvette.

With a sigh Vaughn heaved himself to his feet and then wrapped his arms all the way around Rhys’ skinny frame, his hands settling on Yvette’s waist.

“He’s getting snot on my shirt,” Yvette said. “You know how hard it is to find a clean shirt around here, Rhys?”

“Deal with it,” Rhys said. “It’s just ‘cause I’m so happy to see you.”

“You snot on everybody you’re happy to see? No wonder you’re always single.”

“No, just you,” he said, wiping his nose on her blouse.

“Disgusting!” she said. “Vaughn, he’s being gross.”

“Settle down, kids,” said Vaughn, chuckling.

Rhys didn’t see Fiona appear in the doorway because his face was pressed into Yvette’s shoulder, but he looked up when she cleared her throat and said, “Uh...is this a bad time?”

“Look, Fi, it’s Yvette,” Rhys said.

“I...see that. Are you two trying to smother Rhys, because if so, carry on. I’ll watch.”

Yvette extracted herself from the hug and stepped away, looking down at her blouse and scrunching her nose. Rhys wiped his face on his sleeve. Vaughn pat him on the back.

“Where have you been?” Rhys said, staring at Yvette like he’d just watched her crawl from her grave.

She shrugged. “I’ve been around. You were the one who disappeared for months, remember?”

Rhys winced and rubbed his head beside the port. “I...actually don’t. Not really. I...I didn’t mean to leave you guys, Yvette.” He looked at Vaughn, heart pounding, suddenly desperate to make them understand. “I didn’t know you guys were here, and — and even if I had, I...I was — I couldn’t have made it. I wasn’t just off screwing around, I — I was pretty bad, you know? In pretty bad shape, I mean, I had to — I couldn’t…”

“We know,” Vaughn said. “Or...well, we don’t, really. But you can tell us.”

Rhys’ face crumpled. He hid it in the crook of his elbow. He knew he was making a scene but everything he’d shoved down for the sake of seeming composed and capable and not like a complete wreck was forcing its way up. Again. He hoped it wouldn't become a habit. “I haven’t talked to anybody about it,” he said. “I...I skipped some parts, when. When I talked to Loader Bot. It’s. I’m fine. I want to hear about you guys,” he said, putting his arm down and plastering on a frightening, unhinged smile. “What’ve you been up to, you know? Yvette?”

“I’ll just give you all a moment,” said Fiona, and quickly walked away.

“Rhys, you’re gonna shortcircuit if you keep this up. Just...relax. Yeah, we’ve all got some things to work through. But somehow none of us has died yet, so I think that means we can probably handle it,” Yvette said, crossing her arms.

“Yeah. Sorry,” he said.

“It’s ok, man. And, uh...no offense, Rhys, but you don’t look so good. You haven’t looked so good in a while.”

“You look like shit,” said Yvette.

“Thanks Yvette, that’s so helpful,” said Vaughn. “What I mean is, will you please sit down and eat something that isn’t, like, a single bite of fruit, and then get some sleep? Can I convince you to do that?”

“Lots of work to do,” Rhys mumbled, swaying on his feet.

“Yeah, there is. And you’re no help doing it if you’re malnourished and exhausted. So, please. The best thing you can do for everybody is to take a little more care of yourself. I don’t mean to sound harsh, man, but...you really look sick. I know you get a little caught up when you’re working, I just...really hope you’re not trying to punish yourself or something like that.”

The woebegone look Rhys gave him in response was enough of an answer for Vaughn. He sighed. “Please go sleep? Eat? I’ll settle for either one of the two, at this point.”

“Alright, alright,” Rhys muttered.

He let Vaughn lead him back to their room. Apparently he’d moved Yvette in across from them. It had taken her a while to come back to Helios, as she’d initially wandered in circles, and then even longer to figure out it was Vaughn leading the survivors. So Rhys hadn’t missed as much between them as he’d thought.

He crashed almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. He slept uneasily, but it was better than nothing.

When he got up his mouth was dry and his head was aching. He pushed himself up and immediately cried out as the nerves in his arm pinched. He sat up shakily and massaged the tense knot of muscles at his shoulder, beside where his flesh was attached to the metal. He missed his old arm. Though the new one was a sleeker design, its internal components weren’t nearly as complex, and it either wasn’t compatible with the Hyperion tech wired into his body or it just wasn’t connected properly. Or maybe he’d fucked something up when he built it. Or he’d done irreparable nerve damage by tearing his original arm off and then done some more when he tried connecting a jury-rigged replacement himself while half-dead from blood loss and delirious. Probably all of those things. Either way, the pain was getting worse, and he was rapidly losing what little fine motor function he’d managed to preserve. He tried curling his fingers and couldn’t quite make a fist. For the first time in a long, long while, since right after the surgery, it hit him that he was missing an arm. He’d been able to just...not notice it for so long, had never had trouble with thinking of the old one as his own once the recovery period was over. And now he was on Pandora, and even if he had access to completely sterile, sophisticated labs, no amount of tech would help if his nerves and tissue really were as heavily scarred as he suspected they were. So not only was he facing the potential loss of a limb all over again, but this time it was also on Pandora, a planet that wanted him dead. Great. He was so glad he’d woken up.

He struggled to dress without jostling his right arm too much, which was difficult. He settled for wearing one of his old shirts that he’d hung on to with the sleeve cut off. The new arm was slimmer so that was usually unnecessary, but today he didn’t even want to lift it higher than his chest. He glanced briefly in the mirror and then quickly away, doing his best to smooth his hair back and to ignore the dark circles under his eyes, the gauntness of his face.

In the living room he found a note from Vaughn saying he was working and that Rhys was welcome to join. Well, Rhys didn’t know how much use he’d be if the work involved manual labor, but he had just told Vaughn he wanted to help, so...he figured he’d better go see if he could pull his weight.

He found Vaughn and Fiona messing around in one of the station’s now defunct purifier rooms where their supply of water had ran through to get cleaned. They were struggling to pry a panel free on one of the large machines. It looked as though one corner had been badly crushed and bent out of shape so that it wouldn’t pop off as it was meant to.

“Hey, Rhys, little help?” said Vaughn, flashing him a smile and pausing to wipe the sweat off his brow. “Was hoping to have this off by the time you woke up so you could come mess with the fun part, see if it’s salvageable, but it’s really stuck on there.”

“Er...yeah, man, but uh, I think Loader Bot might be a little more useful. I’m not really a heavy lifting kind’ve guy.”

“LB’s on a scavenger hunt with Gortys,” said Fiona. “And you’ve got a robot arm, Rhys.”

“Right,” he muttered, rotating said arm in its socket and wincing, quickly stopping when it tugged a nerve. “Robot arm is...not feeling too good.”

Fiona rolled her eyes. “Just come tug this thing off.”

“That’s what he said,” said Vaughn. He cleared his throat when Fiona gave him a murderous glare and shrugged.

Rhys sighed and walked over. He grit his teeth and raised his arm to grip the metal and bit his lip, gave a shaky laugh as he forced the fingers to curl despite the pain tingling around his shoulder and the startling pins and needles feeling in his artificial hand. It was so intense he couldn’t feel if his hand was touching the metal or not, had to look to confirm he was even holding it.

“Uh, Rhys...that shoulder looks a little gnarly,” said Vaughn.

Rhys reached over with his other hand to tug the cut-off edge of his shirt over the place where his metal arm was attached to hide the unsightly seam. “Yeah, couldn’t do as clean a job as those Hyperion doctors.”

“No, like...it looks bad, man.”

“I know it looks bad, Vaughn,” he said, frustrated. “It’s really gross and ugly, I know, believe me. Just. Don’t look at it.”

“Let me see,” said Fiona, sounding a little too excited.

Rhys really would have liked to step away from the two of them, but his arm was sort of...locking up. He was not looking forward to the agony of prying open his fingers again only to have to close them again to tear away this sheet of metal. So he just glared at her and tried to cover his shoulder with his other hand.

She ignored him, walking around and pushing his shirt up. She gasped. “Oh, Rhys...what’d you do?”

“Stop looking at it!” he pleaded. “Seriously, ok, I know. Maybe you don’t quite understand, but uh, my arm was not supposed to come off how it did, so there’s gonna be a little scarring.”

“This isn’t a little scarring,” Fiona said, all traces of excitement gone. “Rhys, this looks infected. Like. It’s grotesque. Now that I'm standing right next to it I think it even...smells infected. Eugh.”

“I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth, and started yanking at the metal. Immediately pain lanced up his arm. Hot flashes flooded up and down his body. He cried out and tried to cover it with a laugh. “Ok, ok, see? Fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Stop,” Vaughn said. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“I can do it,” Rhys said. He’d felt the metal give, just a little.

“Come on, man, cut it out. Your arm’s not built for industrial labor, not even on a good day, and this one looks like it’s gonna fall off. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“What did you want me to say, Vaughn?” he said, getting worked up. The pain was making him break a sweat. He felt cold and clammy. “That I fucked up? That I can’t even install my own arm right? So what if it hurts a little, it’s better than — than nothing.”

“No, man, this isn’t about casting judgement. This is about you not being a surgeon or a cybernetics engineer. This is about your health.”

“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice,” he said, continuing to strain and pull the metal. It made an awful squealing noise at he tugged it a little bit looser.

“Your other arm didn’t look like this,” Fiona said. “Just go to the shop, or whatever, get it fixed. Get one like that.”

“Oh, sure, Fiona, I’ll go to the shop, sure. ‘Cause there are so many shops on Pandora that’re gonna install sterile, Hyperion-compatible tech.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m just trying to help. You don’t want an infection out here.”

“Well, too late. At least it’s way better than it was.”

“Rhys! God dammit, that’s not ok.”

“It has to be ok,” he snarled, giving a savage wrench to the metal that yanked it a good few inches free of the tank. “I didn’t go through all that just to — and I barely survive out here with two arms, how the hell am I supposed to do it with one? It'd be fine except that Hyperion tech doesn’t like getting tampered with, they purposefully made their shit not compatible with anything else because they considered me property, didn’t want me able to have any kind of independent ability to fix myself.”

“But the Hyperion arm is gone,” said Fiona. “We’ve got prosthetic people out here, Rhys, believe me.”

“You don’t understand.”

“The Hyperion tech is inside him, Fiona,” Vaughn said. His face had gone pale. “He can’t just...pop a new arm on. He’s right. They didn’t want any tampering with their...their property. Their brand.”

“What do you mean, inside him? I thought it was just...just the arm and the eye, and the...the thingy. How much of you is cybernetics, Rhys?” she said, sounding suddenly disturbed.

“I don’t know,” he grunted. The metal was halfway off. Only a little ways to go. “A lot.”

“You don’t _know?”_

“Look, I got a discounted surgery for not asking questions and letting them do what they wanted, ok? I was — a company investment. It was experimental tech. Nobody else had...had that kind of work done.”

“It’s a majority,” Vaughn said quietly. He’d read the papers. He’d made himself, during the sleepless nights he’d spent pouring over the procedural manuals before Rhys’ operations, checking and double-checking, making himself sick with doubt about what his friend was about to do.

“A majority?”

“Jack couldn’t have taken over otherwise, Fiona,” Rhys said miserably. “Most of my brain is...well, not my brain. Or. It is my brain, but. You know.”

“That’s...that’s sort’ve sick, Rhys,” Fiona said. “I mean, I knew Hyperion was fucked up, but that’s...they just took you apart like that, and didn’t even tell you what they were doing? And all for what, some stupid promotion?”

Rhys finally pried the metal free with a triumphant shout. It clattered to the floor and nearly took him with it as he struggled to unclench his fingers. “There!” he wheezed, grinning at them. “Guess I am pretty strong, huh?”

They watched him struggle to unclench his fingers, then jolt and give a strangled laugh as he managed it, the pain making him wince.

“Bro, you need a professional. You’re gonna really hurt yourself.”

“I think...I might already have done that.”

“Well, stop!” said Fiona. “Were you always a dumbass, or is that another side effect of letting a bunch of corporate witch doctors drill a hole in the side of your head!”

“I think the fact that I let them means...always.”

The honesty surprised her. She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “I know a doctor in Nettle Peak, Rhys. I’ll get you her information. You can’t really think we’re gonna go into that vault and just let you run yourself into the ground.”

“Fine,” he said stiffly. “Thank you, Fiona.”

She raised a brow. “You’re welcome.”

“Fine.”

“Fine,” she said.

He stepped back. “So...guess I’ll see if  I can get this thing running, then.”

“If you feel up to it,” Vaughn said.

“I’m not an invalid,” Rhys snapped. “I can still work. I know what I’m doing.”

“I know you do, bro, I know. I just. Really think this arm should get checked out. It’s all...puffy and red and...yeah. I mean. What if your head starts looking like that? You don’t want an infection in your brain, dude. That’s no good.”

“Oh, really, Vaughn? Thanks for telling me, I had no idea,” Rhys said, kneeling down to get a look at the inner wiring of the tank.

Vaughn sighed.

Fiona threw up her hands. “You are — ugh! Unbelievably dumb, Rhys.”

“What? Aren’t I being tough, or something? It’s Pandora, you can’t run off to the doctor for every little scrape. You said so yourself.”

“And this is not a little scrape! On Pandora you die if you don’t look after yourself, Rhys. We don’t just ignore shit like this. That gets you killed.”

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I’ll get it fixed. I’m sure I just need some antibiotics or something. Seriously, it’s gonna be fine.”

“Take care of it,” Fiona demanded, and stomped out of the room.

“What’s got her all worked up, huh?” Rhys muttered.

“You do,” Vaughn said, massaging his temples. "She cares about you, Rhys, which is a really difficult position to be in right now."

“Yeah, well...hand me that screwdriver, would you?”

“Which one?”

“Blue handle.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon tinkering with the water tank. By the end of it Rhys was streaked with grease and sweat but beaming. He’d forgotten the pain. The tank was working. He’d accomplished something, something solid that would immediately begin having a real positive impact on people’s lives. He and Vaughn shared a smile and for the first time in a very long while, the weight on Rhys’ chest felt lighter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhys and LB have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading, and as always, comments and critique are very appreciated!  
> Feel free to talk to me on tumblr @eucheuma.

He traveled back to Atlas the next day to settle his affairs. He brought Loader Bot with him, which aided in convincing Fiona and Vaughn to let him go. There Cassius met him and quickly led him to a private room.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the old man said. “Didn’t you get my message?”

“Er...no.”

“You’ve got enemies,” Cassius said. “Somebody’s been tampering with the lab diagnostics. The scans weren’t clean, Rhys, there are all kinds of issues with your cybernetics. Nothing major, they aren’t about to stop working, but...it’s odd. I don’t know how or why anyone managed it. My best guess is, one of our staff is ex-Hyperion. Must have a grudge against you for Helios, or Jack.”

“Perfect, that’s just what I wanted to hear today,” Rhys muttered.

“Look, you’re likely to be challenged until you make a name for yourself. You’re a newcomer. But if this guy does have a personal vendetta, you shouldn’t be alone here until we figure out who he is. Keep that bot with you.” Cassius narrowed his eyes and looked Rhys up and down. “How are you doing?”

Rhys gave him a strained smile and clapped him on the back. “Never better,” he said.

He went for a walk through the facility after that, wandering past the cleaned-up, renovated section into the much larger and still derelict part of the complex. Loader Bot clumped along behind him.

“You are unwell,” said Loader Bot.

Rhys scoffed. “What? Buddy, I am fine. Don’t even worry about it.”

“You appear to be in considerable pain.”

“Well...that may be true, ” Rhys muttered, trying not to move his arm too much. The skin around the metal was puffy and red and hot to the touch. His head ached like somebody was expanding a balloon inside his skull. " And how have we already got somebody trying to sabotage the company? I’ve hired, like, three people! What gives! We’re barely even up and running."

He wandered into a room out of habit, not paying attention to where he was going. It was one of the old medical labs. He sauntered in like he owned the place because, well, he did, and he could go wherever he liked, even if the hall had been suspiciously boarded up. Inside he stuttered to a halt. There was something sickeningly familiar about the room. It turned his stomach. There were dark stains everywhere, splattered on the floor, the walls, especially on one of the benches against the wall. It was blood. It was his blood.

Disjointed memories flashed through his mind. Dragging his broken, bleeding body through the dusty facility, into this room. Collapsing. The agony of removing the snapped and fraying wires from his shoulder socket. Plugging himself up, how helpless he’d felt with one arm, how it was the first time it really sank in for him the extent of what he’d done to himself when he agreed to those operations, the horror, how he felt mutilated and violated all over again, like a freak, like a monster.

“Ok. We’re not doing this today,” he said, turning around and rushing from the room. In the hall he took deep breaths until his stomach stopped churning. Then he wandered out.

“I just don’t know what the matter with me is,” Rhys sighed, kicking at a rock. That just made him remember his twisted ankle. He sighed and sat down on a crate.

“Could you be more specific?” Loader Bot asked. 

Rhys groaned and flung his arms outwards. “This is everything I ever wanted! Well. It’s the start, anyway. I’d imagined less dust. But still — everything I ever wanted! Why aren’t I...happy? Instead I’m just overwhelmed, and frustrated, and...and sort’ve...sad, I think? Tired, maybe? I don’t know. I’m not satisfied. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Have you considered that maybe this is a sing your desires have changed?”

“What?” Rhys said, looking up at Loader Bot like he was crazy. “Of course this is what I want. This is what I’ve always wanted. This is practically the only thing I’ve wanted since— for my whole life!”

Loader Bot was silent for a moment, then said, “I am not an expert on human desire. But in my experience, it is very unusual for one to continue to want and pursue one’s childhood fantasy into adulthood. Unless one has integrated the desire into one’s sense of self and would otherwise feel confused as to who they are and fall into despair. Then it is quite common indeed.”

Rhys blinked up at him. “What are you, a psychologist or something?”

“No.”

“Well...you mean that I...that you don’t think that I…” Rhys gulped. “That I don’t want to be a CEO?”

“I don’t know. It is possible. Pandora has changed you. It is possible it has brought to a head the uneasiness you held all along. Perhaps the stress has made it more difficult to continue persisting in your former delusion. Humans are so complicated.”

Rhys continued to blink and stare at him slack-jawed, dumbfounded. “Then...then what do I want?”

“I do not know. I am not a mind reader. I am merely sharing with you the impressions I have formed based on our time together. Which was largely characterized by your constant need for assistance and validation.”

“Wow, thanks,” said Rhys. “Love you too, buddy.” He sighed and flopped dramatically back against the wall before remembering it was covered in dust and rust and probably staining his shirt. “I just — I thought Vaughn and Yvette would be here with me. But Vaughn’s busy and Yvette’s...well, honestly I've got no idea what she wants these days,” he said, feeling numb as he spoke the words aloud. He looked down at his hands. “I never planned on doing it myself. I never thought I’d have to. I didn’t...want that kind of responsibility. But how can I back out now? How could I leave this behind and just try for something else, after everything I gave up, everything I sacrificed, all the backstabbing and scheming and shit I’ve gone through and put other people through? I mean, I — I cut myself up for this, Loader Bot! I can’t want something else!” he said, jumping to his feet. “I — I lost my arm for this, my eye, I put a freaking hole in my head for this! I’d never have come to Pandora, I’d never have — oh, God, geez, I’m really...I’m fine, just gimme a sec...I need to...and if I want something else, I don’t even know who I am!” he said, staring imploringly up at Loader Bot, as though he might have the answer. Rhys’ breath came in shallow gasps. “I, I’m nothing! I’m nobody! All I wanted was to go into business! I only bothered picking up traits that would help me with that, I can’t do anything else, I’m not good at anything, I, I—ngh!”

Rhys put his head in his hands and gave a muffled groan. It echoed in the empty halls. They stood listening to it for a moment.

“Maybe you should consider that vacation,” said Loader Bot.

“Ha,” Rhys said, his voice dry. “Yeah. Right after I finish risking life and limb, again, trying to solve this dumb vault maze.”

Loader Bot tactfully kept silent on that topic.

“Well, how about you?” Rhys asked. “How’s Gortys, huh?”

“You said goodbye to her at the same time as I did. I have no additional remarks.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Rhys said, grinning and elbowing the robot. “You know what I mean. She’s cute, right? Right?”

Loader Bot sighed, which sounded like a soft static crackling. “Yes.”

“So? Eh? Come on, we’re pals, right? I sure run my mouth to you enough, let me listen for once.”

“You do talk a lot,” Loader Bot conceded. He sighed again. “Gortys...Gortys is very special.”

“Uh-huh.”

“She is one of a kind.”

“Sure is.”

“She is...that is to say...very dear to me.”

Rhys nodded sagely. “Yup. You’ve got it bad, buddy. So?”

“So?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?”

“I do not understand the question.”

“Come on!” Rhys said, throwing up his hands and sitting back down on the crate. “You gotta let her know! And don’t say you already have. I mean really, LB. You know you’ve gotta be a little more forward if you want her to realize your feelings are...you know...romantic.”

There was nothing odd at all to Rhys about gossiping over romance to a robot in the derelict halls of Atlas. It was, in fact, maybe the most natural thing he’d done since coming to Pandora. He felt in his element, comfortable.

“And what then?”

“You know what then!” Rhys teased. “Then you — you know! Date! Go on dates.”

“And how exactly am I meant to make her realize my...feelings? Which I do not think I am meant to have. They are an anomaly.”

“You’re sentient. Of course you have feelings.”

“Not everyone would think so.”

“Well, screw them, who cares? There’s a few ways you could go about this,” Rhys said, chattering away.

Loader Bot listened to his suggestions and filed them away in his memory drives so that he could run probability tests on them later.

When Rhys was silent he limped back to the front of the facility where he was accosted by one of the new employees, a middle-aged man wearing a wide, manic grin.

“Mr. President,” he said. “So good to see you. Would you mind checking out some of the analyses I’ve been running on our profit margins?”

“Oh. Er, sure thing,” Rhys said, following him into an office.

The man handed Rhys a neural jack. Rhys took it and immediately his palms began to sweat. The man just grinned expectantly even as Rhys felt himself pale. “Could I maybe...just look at them, first? With my eyes, you know, on the monitor?” he said, gesturing to the computer.

The man shook his head and crossed his arms, sighed. “I’m afraid the monitor’s broken, sir. We haven’t found working replacements on Pandora, and it’ll be awhile before we manage to get any off-planet shipments in. It would take ages to move the data...it’s much more efficient this way, sir.”

Rhys tugged at his collar. The man’s expectant eyes were making him squirm.

The man suddenly became sympathetic. “Oh...are you hesitant because of what happened with the AI? I’m sorry, sir, how insensitive of me, I wasn’t thinking. Of course I could...print the data?”

Rhys clenched his fists. Oh, this was just mortifying. He was insulted by the mere idea of being offered hard copies. It was so backwards it made him want to gag. He was a modern man, he’d had his modifications precisely so he could avoid such indignities. He shook his head and before Loader Bot could stop him he jammed the jack into his head.

Bolts of lightning crashed between his ears. Rhys fell to the ground and curled into a ball, whining from the pain. Dozens, then hundreds of pop-ups flashed across his vision, instantly triggering a splitting migraine. Warnings, prompts, dialogue boxes, error codes, sales offers, credit offers, scam alerts, all popping in his vision with bursts of color and their accompanying sounds. He couldn’t close them fast enough, couldn’t keep up, he was swarmed. His head was full, he felt like any second they’d start pouring out his ears and mouth and eyes. He felt himself overheating. Had he not been completely overstimulated he would’ve mortified to detect the audible whirring of his internal mechanisms, which were meant to be silent. It was considered indecent to show certain signs of cybernetics in polite company, and the emotionally vulnerable response of a whirring fan or rotor or correction of servomechanisms were among them.

Beneath it all was Jack’s voice, layered atop the junk code flooding Rhy’s brain. It was a repeating message on a loop, one of his prerecorded memos that would be broadcast throughout Helios. Rhys would’ve recognized it had he not been under such duress; as it was, it broke him. He was sure the man was back in his head.

“For Handsome Jack! Death to the traitor!” the man crowed, standing above Rhys triumphantly, until Loader Bot shot him through the gut with his shotgun, sending him toppling backwards over a desk where he lay gurgling for a moment, and then died.

Someone pulled the jack out of his head, but it was too late. The virus was running rampant through his systems, evading all his security. Rhys moaned. He felt himself lifted and carried from the room, sat on a table.

“Rhys!” Cassius shouted. “What’s happening?”

Rhys clutched his head. “Just — virus,” he gasped. “There’s nothing you can do, unless you’re suddenly — ngh, oh, this is awful — suddenly — I can’t fucking think.”

Loader Bot made a sympathetic humming noise. “It is quite irritable. Hopefully your security systems will overpower it soon.”

Rhys was shaking. Jack’s voice was getting louder. Somebody was starting to scream and he had a suspicion it was him.

“Get it out! Turn it off! Get all this shit off of me, fuck!”

He was being held down. Straps were tightened around his wrists and ankles. He arched his back and tried to break out but only succeeded in rubbing his skin raw. He felt his own tears on his face but couldn’t feel himself crying, all his senses wrung out to the point of numbness. He’d gone past overwhelmed, he was completely beside himself.

“Cassius,” he whimpered. “Please, please, I’m begging you, get this stuff out of my head, just rip it out, I don’t — I can’t live with him in here, do it, quick, before he — before I…”

He must have slid unconscious. When he woke he felt drained and gross, the way he did during the aftermath of a bad cold. His skin was cold and clammy from his dried sweat. When he opened his eyes he could see again. The pop-ups were sporadic now and he could close them to clear his vision. Jack’s voice was gone and in hindsight he understood it had never really been him at all. Rhys lay on his back and breathed.

“How are you?” Loader Bot asked.

“Oh, I guess I’ve had better days,” Rhys said. His voice sounded hollow and...old.

“Is the virus gone?”

“Mostly. It wasn’t a very clever one, just crude and powerful.”

“On the bright side, we’ve resolved our employee problem,” said Cassius. “Or, your friend here did.”

“Thank you,” Rhys said.

“Of course,” said Loader Bot.

“Hey, Cassius...I’ve got a favor to ask you,” Rhys said.

The old man sighed. “Ask away.”

“I kind’ve want to disappear for a while,” Rhys said. “D’you think you could...you know...help me out? If anybody comes by, just say that I...never made it here. You don’t know where I am, you haven’t heard from me.”

“And why do you want to do that?”

“I’ve always wanted to learn to play the flute.”

Cassius sighed again. “You’re not going to tell me, are you."   


Rhys shrugged. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t think I’ve figured it out yet.”

“Well, it’s no skin off my back. If you want to let the company gather dust and have to start all over again when you come back, be my guest.”

“The company. Yeah. I’ll decide what to do about the company,” Rhys said, as though speaking to himself. “Could somebody untie me?”

They helped him up. “Feel like a little road trip, Loader Bot? Like old times?”   


“As long as we are back before Gortys begins to worry.”

“Deal. We’ll make it quick,” Rhys said. He saluted Cassius on the way out, and then the two of them headed out into the blazing heat.


	4. Chapter 4

Fiona barged into her and Sasha’s shared room with a loud sigh and threw herself back onto the bed. She bounced a few times before coming to a stop, which was a novelty: beds were springy! Who knew.

Sasha was reading on the armchair and looked at her with amusement. “What’s with you?”

“I have had a day, Sasha, let me tell you,” Fiona said.

Sasha giggled. “You’re starting to sound like Rhys.”

Fiona bolted upright and pointed at her sister, narrowed her eyes and pressed a hand to her chest. “Take it back. I do not sound like that overblown jackass.”

“You’re doing it right now!”

Fiona laughed and relaxed. “Well, you know. Anytime you spend a lot of time around somebody, you start picking up a thing or two here or there. That’s just good conning. Mirroring, Sasha. Puts ‘em at ease.”

“Is that what it is?” Sasha teased.

Ignoring that last comment, Fiona said, “And speaking of Rhys, where the hell is that guy, seriously! I mean, I know he had to go do some business bullshit at Atlas, but isn’t it taking a while?”

“It’s been two days, Fi, I’m sure he’s fine. He’s with Loader Bot.”   


“True. That’s the only reason I’m not, you know.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah. Not to mention trying to deal with these other guys is giving me gray hair. Athena and August got in an arm wrestling competition and I think she might’ve broken his wrist.”

Sasha gave a low whistle. “That woman is strong.”

“Yeah, no kidding. And now August is sort’ve doing his weird clingy sulking thing like she’s established her dominance or whatever and is, like, the next Vallory he’s willing to take orders from.”

“Gross.”

“Yeah.”

At that moment Vaughn bursts into the room, his chest heaving. “Need...you guys’ help...riot...losing their minds...Rhys...skags...gah!”   


“Er...slow down, what?” said Sasha.

“No time!” Vaughn said. “Everybody’s panicking, I need you to help me find Athena! They’re scared of her, she can probably glare them back into complacency.

“And...why does she need to do that?”

“Somebody had the bright idea of leading a search party into a skag den and...you can imagine how well that went.”

“A search party?”

“They think Rhys is missing,” said Vaughn. “I don’t know why, I told them he had to go do Atlas stuff, but they won’t listen. You know how they are.”

“Unfortunately,” Fiona muttered. “Well, first thing’s first, we gotta deal with this skag situation.” She leapt to her feet. “Sasha, go get Athena and the two of you see what you can do about calming everybody down. Vaughn, explain to me about Rhys.”

“Why do I have to be crowd control?” Sasha said, miffed.

“Because Athena thinks you’re sweet and is more likely to listen to you!”   


“Oh. Does she really?”

Fiona rolled her eyes. “Just get going, would you?”

Sasha left with a salute.

Fiona crossed her arms to face Vaughn. “What’s the deal? You’re not telling the whole story.”

“Well, er. You know how you guys have only one news station, that sometimes plays local news but usually is just really, really weird footage of bandit camps?”

“Yeah, go on.”

“They’re airing some...disturbing...footage of Rhys on the ECHOnet trying to...well, I think he’s having a panic attack? Or trying to rip out his cybernetics? There’s a lot of screaming. I don’t know what to do, Fiona. I’m kind’ve freaked out,” Vaughn said, putting a hand to his head and giving a shaky laugh. “Just...he’s got, what, five employees? And not even the backstabby ones, just some other low-level code guys he picked up. How is this happening? I know he’s with LB, he’s probably fine, but — but I didn’t hear for him for months after Helios, and now I can’t help but think, how easy it would be, for him to just disappear, and what if everybody’s right and something’s happened?”

Fiona strode across the room and put a steadying hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get in touch with him, Vaughn. I’m sure he’s just being a dumbass, probably downloaded another bug or something. He’s with Loader Bot, so let’s not worry yet, ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. But I, uh...Fiona, I gotta say, when we find him, I don’t know if...I don’t know if he’s up for this vault thing. I know it’s not my decision to make. Just. He’s, uh. Done some shit recently that...honestly, I’m shocked he’s as functional as he is.”

“First we get ahold him, then we worry about the rest,” she said.

Vaughn nodded. Her calm resolve bolstered him. He shoved down the panic that was threatening to overwhelm him and reminded himself he wasn’t the same nervous wreck he was when he got here. He was a badass. He was the bandit king. He could do this.

Of course, Rhys was a variable he never had been able to account for. If Rhys was predictable it was only to the extent that Vaughn had come to expect the wildly unexpected.

It was good for me that he went missing. If he’d been here, I’d never taken on these responsibilities, wouldn’t have had the confidence to be this person.

The thought came up without his permission. Vaughn felt overwhelmed by guilt. He shoved it aside, compartmentalized it the way he’d learned to do with all his misgivings back on Helios, shelved it for examination at a later date when he didn’t have a pack of skags at the door and a bunch of refugees badly in need of stitches and probably-nonexistent tetanus shots. Rhys would just have to fend for himself a little longer.

Meanwhile in a backwater town Rhys knocked back a shot of what tasted like jet fuel and gasped, his eyes watering. “I see what you mean,” he wheezed. “That’s really strong. But are you sure we don’t need anesthetic?”

The doctor Fiona had told him about stood above him. She wore big goggles that obscured most of her face, had her graying black hair tied up in a neat bun, and gave him a little smirk that did not make him feel any less queasy about the number of procedures he’d just agreed to have done. Her name was Maribella.

“Not unless you’ve got a briefcase full of cash on hand,” she said. “Anesthetic’s rare. You’ll have painkillers though, so that’s something.”

“Well...maybe I should think about it a little more.”

“If we don’t get that arm off, I won’t be able to treat the infection. Once it’s running through your blood, you won’t stand a chance. The nerves are shot anyway, kid. There was never any hope after you tore the last one off.The pain’s already excruciating, isn’t it? Better to get this thing off now, it’s pretty much dead weight at this point.”

“Is there...is there any other way?”

She shook her head. “You know there’s not. You wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m sorry, but between the nerve damage, the scarring, the infection, and all the Hyperion crap jammed into you—well, it’s a miracle I don’t have to amputate further up the shoulder. You won’t be attaching any cybernetics here ever again, kid, you’d better accept that and move on. Not unless you get off-world and have some kind of repair surgery the likes of which I wouldn’t know about. We can’t do that for you here.”

“Ok,” Rhys said, his head spinning from the drink. She poured him another and he knocked it back. “And...the eye? My port?”

“We’re going to have to operate to fix what you’ve done there. You’ve got some swelling in the brain. It’s not lethal right now, but it’s nothing to scoff at, and it will be if you let it get worse. I’m gonna do my best to make sure we can keep the ECHO hooked up, because otherwise...well, that eye’s fucked, to put it bluntly. You’ll never see out of it again without cybernetics. And...there’s not a lot I can do about the hole in your skull.”

“I’d really just like the port removed,” Rhys groaned.

“I don’t want to risk it. Frankly, I’m scared to touch the thing. I can’t believe this kind of operation was ever conceived of, let alone performed. You’re gonna have to live with it. Scans indicate there’s structural damage to the surrounding brain tissue, either from the corrupted AI wreaking havoc, the multiple shocks to the head fusing the tissue together from your prior misuse and negligence, or due to the swelling and head trauma I can’t say. Take your pick. I’ll do what I can to fix it. But get used to the idea of those migraines sticking around.”

“Great,” said Rhys dryly. “What  _ can _ you do?”

She looked at him gravely. “I can keep you from dying of sepsis is what I can do, kid.”

“I—yeah. Ok,” Rhys mumbled.

“It will be ok, father,” said Loader Bot. “I will be here to ensure no funny business goes on.”

Rhys laughed weakly. “Thanks bud.”

“Now lie back,” Maribella said. “I need to strap you down.”

Rhys stopped laughing. He did as she said, trembling all over, the drink making him woozy and tingly and numb. “This is gonna hurt, isn’t it,” he slurred.

“Like a bitch,” said Maribella. “But only later. For now all you have to worry about is not passing out so I can make sure I don’t scramble your brain any more than it already is.”

Rhys whimpered. “Can I have another drink?”   


“Better not,” she said, fastening worn leather straps around his wrists, ankles, and head.

“What’re you putting in my ears?” he asked, straining his eyes to watch her.

“Plugs. You don’t wanna hear me drilling into your skull, do you?”   


“Oh, no,” Rhys moaned. “Hang on, I’m not ready. Wait, wait, fuck. Fuck.”

“Do you want to live? Or do you want to die?” asked Maribella. “That’s the only question right now, Rhys.”

Rhys thought about it. He really, really thought about it, through the fog of the drink and through the haze of his panic and the numbness of the drugs kicking in. He thought long and hard. At last he said, “I want to live.”

It was the most pure, honest thing he’d said in a while.

“Good,” said Maribella. “Hold onto that.”

And then she began to operate and the world became a six by three foot coffin painted bright throbbing red and echoing with the sound of ice cracking under great pressure and an animal screaming, screaming at a round, arsenic-white moon that howled right back.


End file.
